Our friend MaryAnn
Today I am going to write about our friend Mary Ann Marino. Mary Ann was a new friend. David and I met her for the first time last spring. I like to think of the chance to know Mary Ann as a gift from from our mutual friend and travel agent extraordinaire, Carol Pine. When we had expressed some concerns about spending two months in India Carol told us, "I have someone you absolutely must meet." Since we always take Carol's most excellent advice we promptly invited Mary Ann to dinner and from the moment she arrived we were totally captivated, not only by her quiet grace and inner and outer beautifully which radiated from her heart and lit up the room, but by the story she told us of her extended stay in India.Carol had arraigned a trip there for Mary Ann a year or two before. Like many people she fell in love with both the country and the people and decided she wanted to go back and live and work there for a year. She made contact with a small startup company, volunteering to use her business background help them get up and running. Her other plan was to also volunteer in an orphanage. Mary Ann arrived in Hyderabad armed with a hotel reservation for one night along with the contact for her new job. Within a day she had rented an apartment, found an orphanage to work in and began making her friends - something she is exceeding good at. One special friend, Santha John, adopted Mary Ann as a sister and made her part of Santha's vibrant extended family. Life was everything she had planned and hoped for. Six months into her stay Mary Ann got sick and Santha used her excellent connections to get her seen by Hyderabad's best doctors. The news was grim. It was a brain tumor and Mary Ann needed immediate surgery. Not wanting to stay India for surgery and the treatment to follow Mary Ann made plans to return to Boston. Santha wouldn't hear of her traveling along, so the two fairly new but very good friends made the long journey together.The evening we met Mary Ann and she told us this story (our eyes wide and mouths agape in wonder and awe at her vitality and tremendously positive spirit), Mary Ann had been in remission for a year and was making plans to return to India as soon as possible.Suddenly every worry we had ever entertained about our trip vanished as we reminded ourselves that the best kind of life is the one that you live as fully as you are able.We were fortunate enough to spend time with Mary Ann over the summer and into the fall. She lives in a craft-style cottage in Hull. Her home and garden on the water, is as charmed and unique as its owner. We spent many hours talking about our upcoming trip, constantly reminding her that our rented house in Kochi had a guest room with a reservation in her name. Of course we didn't know then that the cancer had returned and there was to be more surgery and more treatment in the coming months.In the middle of November Mary Ann emailed to say that Santha was coming to Boston and there was to be a potluck supper in her honor to introduce her to 'a few of her women friends.' Twenty of so of us crowded into Mary Ann's house and I had a chance to meet women from all parts of her life. She had touched so many of them in her quiet, yet profoundly personal way, that the house seemed to glow with the sort of energy only deep love can inspire. Mary Ann and Santha had spent days shopping and cooking and it was clear that while the results made both of them (and all of us) very happy, the effort had cost Mary Ann a great deal. The next day she had emergency surgery and remained hospitalized for more than a week. This is a scenario not well suited to a woman who has tremendous will and determination to keep moving and to stay in the game.Her dear friend Jessie organized an email bulletin board to keep people up to date on Mary Ann's condition. Since it was not a blind copy I counted more than 50 addresses that received the first message - and the number rose as word spread.I was lucky enough to see Mary Ann several times before we left on our trip. I knew that I most likely would not see her when I returned in April. But we didn't talk about that. We talked about India and chocolate and movies and books and food and cooking. We talked about friends and how friendship is a better gift than gold (but on a even par with chocolate).I received word from Carol that Mary Ann died this morning after a peaceful night's sleep. I know she was surrounded by friends who must be both relieved to see her suffering over, but heartbroken that she won't be there to light up their lives.What is left behind after someone like Mary Ann dies way too young? She had so many more things she wanted to accomplish and so many places she wanted to see. She was brave and intellectually curious, open and accepting, and one of the best people I've had the honor of knowing even for such a short time. Her passing is for me a reminder that life is short and time is precious. There are adventures to have and friends to make. Don't waste a minute.
